Cruise > Tom Cruise Renounces Scientology; Becomes Muslim Fundamentalist

Tom Cruise Renounces Scientology; Becomes Muslim Fundamentalist

Tom Cruise, the biggest male box-office attraction in American cinema, that is, until he recently displayed a variety of astonishingly off-putting antics, has now taken another dramatic step in his imaginative quest to end his career, which was largely based on his once seemingly cute and innocent appeal.

Much to the dismay of his millions of fans, the film icon has renounced scientology and become a Moslem Fundamentalist.

Troubled by his apparently self-destructive behavior, we were able to arrange an interview.

NewsLaugh: You seem to be behaving in rather odd ways lately, Tom. What's behind it all?

Cruise: You have no idea what it's like to suddenly find yourself the most popular movie star in the world when you can't possibly see any reason you'd reach such a pinnacle. So what happens is you get this really subliminal desire to take yourself down.

NewsLaugh: Oh, so that's why you've been acting like a jackass?

Cruise: Exactly! I don't feel I deserve the celebrity, so I'm trying to destroy my career any way I can.

NewsLaugh: Actually, you're doing an outstanding job.

Cruise: Well, you know, whatever it takes. At first I tried just jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and acting crazy in love. But, come on, that was way too sweet to do the kind of damage I was hoping to do.

NewsLaugh: So you began to emphasize your strong belief in scientology?

Cruise: Well, came out about it in the most offensive ways I could think of.

NewsLaugh (pointing to his new beard and white turban): Why the Islamic Fundamentalist turn?

Cruise: Glad you asked.

My new picture, Mission Impossible III, opened at $34 million. Of course, it was projected to open at $45 mil., but $34 mil. is still way more than I deserve. So I decided I had to do something really radical to finish off my career.

NewsLaugh: You're certainly chose effectively. It would be hard to imagine anything that would alienate more fans.

Cruise: So isn't it great? I'm only holding back on one thing.

Notice the white turban?

NewsLaugh: It's a little hard to miss.

Cruise: Right. I picked it because, as you know, the good buys always wear a white hat. I don't plan to switch to black unless I see that I still have some box-office appeal.

NewsLaugh: Why can't you just get back to being the nice, excitable guy you appeared to be in films like Jerry McGuire? That's obviously what your fans want.

Cruise: You really think so?

NewsLaugh: Of course. Is that how they came to know and love you?

Cruise: But, given my present state of mind, how can I possibly do that?

NewsLaugh: True. Hey, just a suggestion, but maybe you should examine your present state of mind.

Cruise: You think so? Well, first let's see how the beard and turban thing work out.

.

Tom Attea, creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

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Norwegian Cruise

The first Norwegian Cruise took place in 1882, and since nowadays it is one of the most famous in the world.

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High Gas Prices and a Weak US Dollar Result in A Drop in Summer Cruise Prices

Nicholls, GA (ContentDesk) July 27,2006 -- According to a recent Los Angeles Times report, high gas prices and concerns about the weakness of the U.S. dollar could reduce summer travel figures. The drop-off may be especially apparent in August, and that factor will create a great many vacation opportunities. Cruise prices are so low that they have affected hotel and package rates.Home-based independent travel agent, Willie D. Tomlin of Global Travel International (GTI), has been busy booking group cruises this summer season.

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High Gas Prices and a Weak US Dollar Result in A Drop in Summer Cruise Prices
Cruise > High Gas Prices and a Weak US Dollar Result in A Drop in Summer Cruise Prices

Bermuda Cruise Ships

Most of the lines that provide cruise ships for Bermuda have their own independent schedules. But the combined information about all of them is provided by Marine and Ports division of Bermuda's government, which publishes the schedules of all cruise ship calls for a particular year at the beginning of each year. This schedule is also available online.

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Cruise Sailings for the Holidays Discounted by 85%

eCruises.com, a leading online cruise broker, is offering savings of up to 85% off on all Carnival and Norwegian cruises through December 31, 2004.Because of their special standing with nearly all major cruise lines, eCruises.com is able to offer the lowest prices on the Internet for the end-of-the-year cruise sailings for 2004.
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Cruise > Cruise Sailings for the Holidays Discounted by 85%